I Need to accept it...

I need to accept that we lost our baby, i know its hard but thats what life it is. God has reason why he let this happen. Maybe he has plan to give us a beautiful child this year or maybe next year. Try again is the best thing to do anyway, dont lose hope, that is everyone telling me. I never lose hope yet, but im hoping that i will going to have a healthy baby next time. It said that most women, miscarriage happens only once. So if we both ready after 3-6 months, maybe we can try again.

When you are ready...
Your health is what matters. Wait until you feel fit in body and mind before trying to get pregnant again. Until then, enjoy the time you spend with your partner. Allow yourselves to enjoy each other. Try not to let getting pregnant become your only goal. Instead, look at pregnancy as one possible outcome of a loving relationship.

After the miscarriage

After the miscarriage, it takes me a while to feel better. Im still upset of course because we lost the one that we expected so much. Yesterday instead of having my personal book study, i told Renee that i dont feel like having book study because i still feel depressed and tired about what happened. We will try our book study again next week, will see if i feel better. I try to be okay now, try to get back to normal. Sometimes it hards, everytime i think about it, i feel very sad. I dont feel like doing anything. I just want to lay down, sit down and watch tv or watch video online. Play with Dustin and singing videoke just to entertain myself and keep me busy. Im glad i already tell everyone about the miscarriage thing at least its not hard for me to tell them personally if they will ask me about the baby.

Stronger Relationship

Now that this miscarriage thing happens, our relationship is getting more stronger than ever. Mike show me so much love and i am very overwhelmed with that. I love him so much and i am very thankful to have him in my life. He take a day off yesterday so that he can spend time with me. I try not to be upset yesterday, so we spend together, we go out and go to the mall. We buy dustin a new shoes, we let dustin play at the mall playground, we went to the Filipino store to buy some filipino products. We eat together and Mike help me cook for dinner, we watch tv together and i felt so good about it. Im happy because eventhough we lost the baby, our love to each other is always there and i think thats more important. Mike being at my side is really a big help to make me feel better. And last night when we go to sleep, he hug and kissed me. He is such a sweet lovable person, thats why i love him so much. When i woke up this morning, mike is not here anymore, he go back to work. I feel better now and feel at ease. Just need to relax and spend more time with Dustin :-)

Move on...

Move on is the best thing to do especially when this kind of things happen. We never expect this to happen but its God's will why this happen. No one can blame on this, my doctor said its not my fault, sometimes it happens when the baby is not developing enough or if there is some problems with the baby hormones. I am not the only one who have miscarriage i know there are many women's out there experienced miscarriage so i am not alone with this. It takes me 1-2 days to feel better. I already shed all my tears last Monday, im tired of crying and i think its not better if i always think about it. So we have to move on and start a new day with a great smile and be happy. Im still have Dustin with me so its okay. Better luck next time hehe :-)

Cramping and pain

Having a cramping and severe pain on your first trimester is not good because sometimes it ends up of miscarriage. Just like what happens to me. Last week my spotting started and after few days the spotting are increasing more. The dark brown blood becomes bright red and i feel like i have my menstrual period. I felt like having a dysmenorrhea that time, i feel very sick. My back is sore and my lower belly is hurt. The cramping is not so much heavy though but it worries me so much. I called my doctor right away and too bad because it was sunday when the cramping starts so i need to wait until monday to get hold on my doctor. We went to my doctor Monday at 11:30am and we got the bad news. We expect this baby so much, thats why its hurt for me at first to accept it, but we cant do anything about it. Instead of crying and be upset, i need to let it go and get back to normal. I will better give all my attention to mike and dustin instead of thinking about the baby we lost. We never lose hope and i know God has planned why we lost the baby. Maybe next time he will gave us a healthy baby girl :-)

We lost it!

Oh well... the results is very unacceptable, i was very shocked when my doctor told me that i have miscarriage and i lost the baby. When she checked my cervix and uterus, she couldn't see the baby anymore. All she can see is blood tissue, there is no sign of a baby inside of me. At first i cant believe it, im very emotional, it makes me cry to think about it but i cant do anything about it. So i need to move on and try to get back to normal again. Mike is very supportive, he always there with me, he even take a day off so that he can be with me that time after the check up last monday, then yesterday tuesday, he stay with me in the house and take care of me. He is so good and i love him so much. We never lose hope yet, so we will try again next time after 3 months :-) hopefully it will be a healthy baby :-)